Category / About Me

by Lexine

Why Me Worry?

I once heard that aging would bless one with the gift of not giving a fuck as much, and I looked forward to enjoying that gift when I entered my fourth century decade on this planet in late October last year. Then came the elections a week later and I guess that gift doesn’t work on everyone because hoo boy did I give a lot of fucks about things that day.

Six months after that election, I think I’ve been giving a fuck about things more than ever. Particularly my safety, well-being, and future here. Will I still have any rights as a single bisexual woman of color by the end of this year? Is the modern-day Gestapo gonna hunt down “illegal” immigrants in my blue city? Will social security and Medicare still exist when I need it 25-ish years from now? Will California still stay blue? Will my immigrant/LGBTQ+/POC friends also be safe? Is my measles vaccine from childhood still good? And then there are usual worries (money, bills, making sure I have a working car, my stupid eczema, etc.) piled onto that. So much for that gift.

It’s wild; just a year ago I felt relatively safe here in the States. I even had hopes that all who hated TFG (and it seemed like a majority of people) would vote against him and not look back. Now here I am watching politicians who are supposed to protect us voting in inept clowns who will ruin us and what’s left of our freedoms in this forsaken country. When I’m doing more research lately on where/how I can immigrate (my day job happens to be in demand in at least two countries I wouldn’t mind moving to) over writing my latest work-in-progress, that means shit is getting serious.

I seek out escapism from the madness, like watching movies on TCM and hitting up beaches and cat lounges. But I also see others casually shopping from Target and Amazon and posting on those other social media sites as if there’s no madness at all. I should have found some escapism from that annual event of gauche known as the Met Gala earlier this month, but not only was I not feeling it this year, it looked a lot more tone deaf than ever. It’s a shame because I saw some of my faves attend it. (Some people on Bluesky defended the Gala saying it’s all to raise money for the costume institute of the museum. OK. PBS still needs funding and I’m not seeing any big-name celebs wearing high-end couture to support that program.) I’m still fighting for good causes…but after seeing this, I now question: who am I protesting with? Is it with someone who did their best to save democracy last year by voting for Harris, or someone who willingly fucked around and just found out that their Medicare is being gutted and are now pissed?

When Roe v Wade was overturned three years ago, I (who had already chosen to be childfree) chose to get back at the conservative asshats of the Supreme Court by opting for sterilization. If they were going to take my reproductive rights away, I might as well exercise mines while I still have them. The current regime wants to go after birth control and turn women into baby-makers and nothing more; meanwhile, my choice to get that bisalp continues to age well. But now I stare down a far greater threat to my well-being and future in this country. I may not have the gift of not giving a fuck as much as I age. But if being aware of things is a gift, then I got it, and it’s a pretty nice gift. It’s far better than being ignorant.

by Lexine

Rainy Day Random Thoughts

This should’ve been mentioned a week ago, but last week marks my three-year anniversary since I’ve gone cuckoo for keto. These days, I’m more low-carb than keto; I can eat a bit of bread or Godiva chocolate if I want to, but it’s not that often. Remembering how I used to look like before I ditched the carbs and sugar is my main motivation for staying low-carb. And, yep, that’s (headless) me in those pics! No airbrushing here, and no Ozempic or lipo involved. Left is me before I started doing keto, and the right pic is me just a week ago. 

By the way, as it is with all diet plans, YMMV. Going low-carb worked for me, and it may work for you or not. And making it work for you is one thing, but keeping at it is another ballgame. I’ve managed to maintain this whole time because 1) I don’t want to look like how I did in that left pic ever again, and 2) having been away from the stuff that made me gain weight for so long, I no longer miss them, and thus I don’t need them. A friend treated me to lunch at a Japanese restaurant weeks ago, and I did have some sushi (ack, rice!), but I didn’t eat all of the rolls in one sitting, nor did it make me crave sushi afterwards.  

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It’s been pouring in the Bay Area. I used to not like the rain when I was younger, but now, I think I only dislike it is when I have to drive in it 😆. Given that our state is prone to fires and knowing Temu Hitler and his henchmen would rather watch us burn down instead of grow a soul and help, I’ve since appreciated the rainy days. What faucet again??

Also, are umbrellas not cool anymore? How are some of you going by in the rain without a damn umbrella? On top of it being flu season right now! 😒

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I’d boo it too. 

🚨 CANADIAN HOCKEY FANS BOO DURING U.S. NATIONAL ANTHEM AT OTTAWA SENATORS GAME

— MeidasTouch (@meidastouch.com) 2025-02-02T02:08:55.120Z

Wondering if the boos will ever be done in the States. (Side note: I won’t be calling it “US” or “USA” for a long while as I feel like we’re no longer “united” here.) I’m not holding my breath for it to happen at the Super Bowl, but maybe it could happen at the 2025 NBA All-Star Game, which takes place in SF. And as for some ‘Muricans returning the favor and booing the Canadian anthem, it’s nothing compared to what they cheer for (like Nazi garbage). 

And speaking of hockey, add these spineless cats to the growing trash heap. 

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2024 Grammys >>>>>> 2025 Grammys, yep I said it. Biased me liked last year’s guest lineup. Joni Mitchell and Tracy Chapman performed, a Celine Dion appearance, Mariah presenting, Miley and Kylie winning Grammys, no fire disasters, and this forever diva-glam moment from Xtina: 

I was hoping I entered my 40s in the same confident fashion. I think I achieved 1/25th of it. 

Speaking of the Grammys, has it been 25 years since J-Lo wore that dress and Xtina won Best New Artist and got all the Britney fans mad? What a time. 

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A little advice, and go ahead and call me a hater of your fave, but if you’re all for supporting trans rights, don’t ever be caught in 4K saying “both sides are the same” not too long ago. That uneducated mentality is why trans rights (and much more) are being gutted now, and you’ll never ever get a “yaass queen” from me. Only one side has been in favor of supporting trans rights, and I still find it baffling that some Americans allowed an overseas incident, amplified by misinformation packaged as “news” on social media, to make them believe “both sides are the same” and that it became their deal breaker in last year’s election. It’s like 2016 all over again, but far fucking worse! 

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It’s still a bummer to see some of my favorite celebs/people/accounts still use the other social media sites and not even join Bluesky (are they that ignorant over the fascists that own those sites?), but it’s another reason why I prefer to be a fan instead of a stan when it comes to public figures. 

*****

I know, I’ve been very political lately. Anyone who follows me here or on Bluesky knows what sides I’ve taken, and I make no apologies over it. I’ve read remarks that artists should “keep their politics to themselves”, and I’m probably making it tough for those who try to separate the art from the artist. But I’m still going to stand for what I believe in, and I’ll still be grateful for those who will still support my work along the way. I just refuse to be blind to the unconstitutional bullshit happening right now that could affect me and those who didn’t vote for the convicted felon. I still love my trashy soap opera glamour and I still escape to it, but supporting (or in this case, restoring) democracy matters to me, too. 

*****

Finally, I got something special coming a week from now! (No, it’s not a a full-face pic of me; y’all aren’t ready for that.) Stay tuned…

by Lexine

The Vegas Trip, Pt. 4: Rocking The Vote

(Side note: I notice that many of my pics from past installments of this series is no longer showing up. I recently had an issue with the photo hosting site I uploaded my pics to (they blocked my account for no good reason and I still haven’t heard back from them), so I moved all my pics to a new site and y’all should see them now!) 

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I didn’t expect my Vegas trip to get political. I had already voted prior to my trip, and while I knew I couldn’t escape it  given that my trip occurred the week before Election Day, I thought my trip would involve politics, aside from flipping off all those unsightly Trump ads. I even had my Halloween plans set: go people-watching around the Strip and Fremont Street while dressed as Regina George from Mean Girls. 

Then I found out that thee VP herself Kamala Harris was going to appear at a rally in North Las Vegas. On Halloween. My janky Regina George can wait another year, for I wasn’t going to pass up on a historic opportunity! 

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by Lexine

The Vegas Trip, Pt. 3: The 40th

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I turned 10, 18, and 20 at home in the city I was born in. I celebrated my 21st at some waterfront restaurant in SF with my first-ever drink, my 25th in Santa Cruz, and my 30th in LA, trolling Dodger fans after another SF Giants World Series victory the day before. I had plans for my 40th since 2022, but none of them didn’t involve Vegas. I thought I’d go to Hawaii, or Europe on one of those seven-day European tour specials I’d see on Travelzoo. Some plans don’t come to fruition due to life’s curveballs hitting my head, however. (I felt like I’ve taken a lot of those curveballs to my head this year.) And then there are the rare times in life when I hit a grand slam. Finding a great place in Vegas at an amazing weekly rate on my exact travel dates was one of them. 

I usually stay home on my born days, simply to avoid my special day being potentially ruined by assholes being assholes. But I also have this thing where I need to get a massage wherever I travel. In-home massage is costly as hell, so I found a good deal via Groupon at a massage clinic in Summerlin. The soonest opening they had on their schedule was, yep, on my birthday, so I ended up going out. The drive wasn’t bad, I didn’t encounter any assholes, and the massage was amazing. 

I stayed home the rest of the time, though I took some time to explore the rest of the hotel. 

My suite is up there. No, UP there!

It looks like Vegas paradise, but trust me, it was coooooold that day. 

I had the option to go to LA again for my 40th, but there was that pesky blue baseball team and its fans. Naturally, there just had to be a World Series game on my born day, and a closeout game, too. Ten years ago, I sported my Giants hat while roaming the streets of LA, proud to be repping the winners. (Not once did I get jumped, if you can believe that.) I guess the evil gods of that blue baseball team must’ve remembered that because ten years later, guess who would win the World Series, and on my 40th, too? (And thus begins my revenge story!) 

I eased my nerves in my private, jacuzzi-style bathtub, and it was a huge bathtub. With actual jacuzzi jets! The lights were mine, by the way. 

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by Lexine

The Vegas Trip, Pt. 2: The Adventure

The behemoth sight of The Sphere, taken from my ride on The High Roller. 

After my last visit to Vegas back in 2018, I thought the city had everything and the kitchen sink. Sprawling buffets, 24-hour weed dispensaries, replicas of the Eiffel Tower and Brooklyn Bridge, fountain shows at the Bellagio, light shows at Fremont Street, and “Elvis” posing with families on the Strip sidewalks while trucks advertising near-nude escorts drive past. I guess I underestimated Vegas and its penchant for excess for they added more things since my last visit, namely The High Roller and The Sphere. Sooooo many more things to see, and yet…

…with a view like this from my room, it was kind of tough getting out. (That’s how much of a slut I am for pretty views from my home.)

By the way, after seeing more Trump ads on those digital billboards and on every other street corner, I think the next time I visit Vegas, it will be on a non-Presidental election year. It’s bad enough the convicted felon’s hotel is there, although it was also easy to miss since other buildings caught my eye. (In fairness, there were more Kamala ads around, including one on that big-ass Sphere.) 

This was taken from observation deck at The Strat (more on this later), and I found out earlier that day that her ads would be featured on that Sphere. So glorious! 🥹

Not so glorious but amusing is seeing a gold-plated eyesore pull up to the Dollar Tree, of all places. Only in Vegas. I’d say people who voluntarily buy those abominations on wheels (after all the batshit crazy things its creator has said and done) have Dollar Tree morals, but that would be insulting to Dollar Tree.

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by Lexine

The Vegas Trip, Pt. 1: The Arrival

A month ago, I was in Las Vegas, a few days fresh into my forties. Life seemed to be good; I was having fun and feeling some actual hope for the future. I wish I could say the same thing today, but that’s a rant for another day. 

I didn’t plan nor expect to enter my forties in Vegas. With the budget I had at the time, I thought I’d take another LA trip (and risk my well-being being potentially rattled due to that blue team being in the World Series) or just celebrate my birthday close to home (I thought about staying at an upscale hotel in SF for a couple nights). Four days before my birthday, with still no place to go, I checked out Airbnb on a whim and saw an offering I couldn’t refuse: a high-rise suite at Palms Place with strip-facing views, going for under $700 for a week’s stay during my exact travel dates. The lone catch was that the reservation was “non-refundable” and, to save all my coins, I’d have to drive what would end up being over 1200 miles for a round trip. And I had only two days to prepare for my trip. They were small prices to pay to enjoy myself, however.

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by Lexine

Thankful?!

I guess the things/people I can be thankful for this year are…

–Kylie Minogue, for existing and Tension II

–Megan Thee Stallion, for existing and the run she’s had this year

–Christina Aguilera, for existing and showing the world that she still has it

–getting the chance to see all three perform live this year

–owning the entire Married With Children series on DVD as I’ve been binge-watching the show yet again and that I don’t have to stream it (their crass yet self-deprecating humor soothes me)

–being super-duper fully vaccinated (got all my Covid shots and boosters and they do work because I’m still here and feeling fine after catching Covid for the first time this past summer)

–And not living with guilt when it came to this year’s elections. I voted Biden in the Primaries, voted early for Kamala, and not once did I tell others that “both sides are bAd” or to “not vote” this year, nor admitted that it was “my first time voting” while being in my late 30s because I’d been voting since I turned 18! (Some things weren’t meant to admit to the world, no matter how many internet Likes you’d get.)

by Lexine

Stuck In My Bad Girl Era

I’ll never be a good girl and I’m fine with that.

There’s something about the term “good girl” that never sat right with me. It’s what old male geezers say to young women in the workplace when the woman does something good at her job. It’s so 1950s, when Stepford wives and Doris Day-esque nice girls defined femininity while men got to be rebels without a cause with their leather jackets and cigarettes. It’s smack of submissiveness to the patriarchy and reeks of gender stereotypes; boys get to be “bad” and be rulers, fighters, and bed-hoppers, while girls can only be “good” and be rescued by the man for the sake of love and happiness. It’s something I wouldn’t say to my female pet if I had one. And it’s definitely why you’ll never catch me going near that Good Girl perfume. (I’m that petty to where I don’t even touch their sample vials in my Sephora perfume sets.)

It was not Marilyn Monroe or Eleanor Roosevelt, but a University of New Hampshire student named Laurel Thatcher Ulrich who, in 1976, said “well-behaved women seldom make history…” And in the early 1980s, then-Cosmopolitan Editor-In-Chief Helen Gurley Brown was attributed with that quote in the header pic (though she actually never said those words). Over four decades later after those quotes were made and I still see some women who’d rather “go to heaven” and be “well-behaved”. They’re now the Trad Wives, the ones who smile to look pretty for the guys, and the ones who vote like their man even if their vote takes away their rights. To be a “good girl” these days, in a landscape that witnessed a male convicted felon/rapist/all-around POS steal take the highest office in the country (again) and her abortion rights gutted, is to blindly dance in a field of landmines.  Meanwhile, the “bad boys” have morphed into Douche Bro Incels, with control over women being their modus operandi. They’re no longer the good-looking rebel smelling nice and charming the skirts off the nice girls; they’re now the ugly try-hard looking older than his age who reeks of Sauvage and wants to rape the skirts off the nice girls. Why should women still play nice with the “your body my choice” assholes? And even when women do good, there’s always going to be a guy or ten thinking she’s “bad” because she supported Kamala and pro-abortion rights.

And it’s why I have no problem being a Bad Girl. If being strong, assertive, and doing things your way makes me “bad” to some “men,” so be it. Guess you can say I’ve been in my Bad Girl era for a while now. I haven’t nor will I do actual bad things like rob or murder anyone or support Nazis. But I’ll go against stupid patriarchal values, vote to support women’s rights, and enjoy consensual sex for fun when I want to. I’ll never smile to look pretty for the guys and I’m definitely not a man’s incubator. I don’t need men for love, sex, and money as I’m also attracted to other genders and I make good money on my own. I don’t want to get married and not only am I childfree, but childfree AND sterilized. Some vile conservatives took my reproductive rights away, and my Bisalp from last year is my lick back. (I also don’t want kids in this life, so suck on that, Elon!) So call me a Bad Girl. Besides, it’s more fun to go everywhere instead of just heaven.

And to the White Broligarchy that wants us women to play nice and make babies for them, this Bad Girl dedicates these songs to you!

(Yes, I’m aware I posted the last song in my last entry. Works for this entry, too!)

by Lexine

Special Announcement!

playgirl cover (new silhouette didot 5)

Starting December 27, 2024, my eBook The Playgirl will return to Wide Distribution! It will still be sold on Amazon, but it will also be available on other platforms such as Apple Books, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble for those who choose to no longer buy anything through Amazon and Amazon-related sites, which I completely understand! (I’d take my book out sooner, but I’m still enrolled in KDP Select through 12/26/24.) I’ll also be looking into how I can sell my work directly through me so I can get all of the coins.

by Lexine

40 Of My Favorite Things: #1

Enjoying my own company!

It’s the result of having grown up in a fairly large family, living with roommates for years, realizing I was more comfy being on my own since my preteens, and dealing with many coworkers and clients for my job. To be on my own and doing my own thing without having to worry about anybody else is just zen. This current Vegas birthday trip that I’m on is no exception. Sure, I could’ve had my friends with me on this milestone occasion, but they have their commitments, and I got mine. (It’s also hard to pass up a Vegas Airbnb with panoramic views of the Strip from the property that went for half-off its original rate, and I also needed another vacay.) So here I am, writing this from my Vegas rental home, with the only sounds coming from keyboard typing and an NBA game on the TV. (I ain’t watching that wretched World Series.) It’s like I’m back home but my amenities are more high-end and the view from my place is hotter, and it’s all for me. 🥳

Hope you enjoyed this countdown! I doubt I’ll be posting stuff here for 40 days straight for a long time, unless if I quit Twitter (or Twitter quits me). If I do another list like this again for my 50th, it will likely be the same things plus ten new faves. I got a feeling neck fans for the hot flashes I’ll eventually be getting will be one of them.

**Update 9/21/25 (a year after I started this list): yeah I quit that fascist bitch site