Stuck In My Bad Girl Era

I’ll never be a good girl and I’m fine with that.

There’s something about the term “good girl” that never sat right with me. It’s what old male geezers say to young women in the workplace when the woman does something good at her job. It’s so 1950s, when Stepford wives and Doris Day-esque nice girls defined femininity while men got to be rebels without a cause with their leather jackets and cigarettes. It’s smack of submissiveness to the patriarchy and reeks of gender stereotypes; boys get to be “bad” and be rulers, fighters, and bed-hoppers, while girls can only be “good” and be rescued by the man for the sake of love and happiness. It’s something I wouldn’t say to my female pet if I had one. And it’s definitely why you’ll never catch me going near that Good Girl perfume. (I’m that petty to where I don’t even touch their sample vials in my Sephora perfume sets.)

It was not Marilyn Monroe or Eleanor Roosevelt, but a University of New Hampshire student named Laurel Thatcher Ulrich who, in 1976, said “well-behaved women seldom make history…” And in the early 1980s, then-Cosmopolitan Editor-In-Chief Helen Gurley Brown was attributed with that quote in the header pic (though she actually never said those words). Over four decades later after those quotes were made and I still see some women who’d rather “go to heaven” and be “well-behaved”. They’re now the Trad Wives, the ones who smile to look pretty for the guys, and the ones who vote like their man even if their vote takes away their rights. To be a “good girl” these days, in a landscape that witnessed a male convicted felon/rapist/all-around POS steal take the highest office in the country (again) and her abortion rights gutted, is to blindly dance in a field of landmines.  Meanwhile, the “bad boys” have morphed into Douche Bro Incels, with control over women being their modus operandi. They’re no longer the good-looking rebel smelling nice and charming the skirts off the nice girls; they’re now the ugly try-hard looking older than his age who reeks of Sauvage and wants to rape the skirts off the nice girls. Why should women still play nice with the “your body my choice” assholes? And even when women do good, there’s always going to be a guy or ten thinking she’s “bad” because she supported Kamala and pro-abortion rights.

And it’s why I have no problem being a Bad Girl. If being strong, assertive, and doing things your way makes me “bad” to some “men,” so be it. Guess you can say I’ve been in my Bad Girl era for a while now. I haven’t nor will I do actual bad things like rob or murder anyone or support Nazis. But I’ll go against stupid patriarchal values, vote to support women’s rights, and enjoy consensual sex for fun when I want to. I’ll never smile to look pretty for the guys and I’m definitely not a man’s incubator. I don’t need men for love, sex, and money as I’m also attracted to other genders and I make good money on my own. I don’t want to get married and not only am I childfree, but childfree AND sterilized. Some vile conservatives took my reproductive rights away, and my Bisalp from last year is my lick back. (I also don’t want kids in this life, so suck on that, Elon!) So call me a Bad Girl. Besides, it’s more fun to go everywhere instead of just heaven.

And to the White Broligarchy that wants us women to play nice and make babies for them, this Bad Girl dedicates these songs to you!

(Yes, I’m aware I posted the last song in my last entry. Works for this entry, too!)

Special Announcement!

playgirl cover (new silhouette didot 5)

Starting December 27, 2024, my eBook The Playgirl will return to Wide Distribution! It will still be sold on Amazon, but it will also be available on other platforms such as Apple Books, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble for those who choose to no longer buy anything through Amazon and Amazon-related sites, which I completely understand! (I’d take my book out sooner, but I’m still enrolled in KDP Select through 12/26/24.) I’ll also be looking into how I can sell my work directly through me so I can get all of the coins.

40 Of My Favorite Things: #1

Enjoying my own company!

It’s the result of having grown up in a fairly large family, living with roommates for years, realizing I was more comfy being on my own since my preteens, and dealing with many coworkers and clients for my job. To be on my own and doing my own thing without having to worry about anybody else is just zen. This current Vegas birthday trip that I’m on is no exception. Sure, I could’ve had my friends with me on this milestone occasion, but they have their commitments, and I got mine. (It’s also hard to pass up a Vegas Airbnb with panoramic views of the Strip from the property that went for half-off its original rate, and I also needed another vacay.) So here I am, writing this from my Vegas rental home, with the only sounds coming from keyboard typing and an NBA game on the TV. (I ain’t watching that wretched World Series.) It’s like I’m back home but my amenities are more high-end and the view from my place is hotter, and it’s all for me. 🥳

Hope you enjoyed this countdown! I doubt I’ll be posting stuff here for 40 days straight for a long time, unless if I quit Twitter (or Twitter quits me). If I do another list like this again for my 50th, it will likely be the same things plus ten new faves. I got a feeling neck fans for the hot flashes I’ll eventually be getting will be one of them.

**Update 9/21/25 (a year after I started this list): yeah I quit that fascist bitch site

40 Of My Favorite Things: #2

Cats!!

DSC04286

I saved this fave specially for National Cat Day today. I’ve always been a cat person, but it’s been years since I held Cat Mom duties. Strict apartment rules on pets and my day job (which requires lots of traveling) have kept me from owning a cat at the moment. If and when I don’t have to travel much for work and I live in a place that allows pets, I would definitely like to have another cat. I miss being a Cat Mom and I would enjoy being JD Vance’s ultimate nightmare: a Childess Cat Lady. (Although me being both childfree and a lady (of color!) is enough nightmare fuel for Mr. Eyeliner.)

I also sorely miss that cat you see in the header pic. That is Friskie, my adorable oddball of a Tabby, taken back in 2014 (IIRC). I had him when I used to live with roommates. He joined his ancestors over five years ago.

40 Of My Favorite Things: #4

Road Trips!

Images from two of my past road trips, from 2022 (in the Central Valley), and from this past summer (at Lancaster). 

Whether it’s for a day trip or as part of a week-long getaway, I just enjoy traveling by car. I have a slight fear of flying and while I don’t mind train travels, I just prefer being behind the wheel instead of someone else. Yes, I’d have to do all the work and spend the money and worry over shit like flat tires and gas. But I get full control of my itinerary, I don’t have to worry about strangers sitting next to me, and that’s all that matters.

All my road trips I’ve taken so far have been within my state borders. I’m hoping to take a road trip up and down the West Coast, as well as through the Southwest one day!

40 Of My Favorite Things: #5

State/Regional Parks! 

I’ve always had appreciation for state and regional parks, and that appreciation grew ten-fold during the pandemic lockdown four years ago. Stores that were not essential business were closed for a while, and parks were the one place where I didn’t have to entirely worry about crowds and masking. (Although I always had my face mask on me just in case.) I’m lucky to live within driving distance of plenty of regional parks and beaches, and I hope to return to that park in the header pics soon (that’s Mt. Tamalpais State Park and the amazing views from there, taken from July 2022). 

40 Of My Favorite Things: #7

Low Carb Food!!

Three of my favorite low-carb foods (that I’ve also made): fried chicken, cinnamon rolls, and turtle pecan clusters.

Probably one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life was going low-carb almost three years ago. Excess weight was lost, old clothes started to shrink, and starches and sugar became easy to pass up. The latter would’ve been unthinkable for me five years ago, but maybe that could be proof that there is such thing as a sugar addiction. I still have my sweets; it’s all made with faux sweeteners now (allulose, erythritol, monk fruit, etc.). And I’ve gone so long without having a potato or rice that I kind of forgotten how they taste like. Sugar? I hardly know her.

(A note: this diet/lifestyle happened to work for me, and I’ve tried all sorts of diets in the past. I’m no nutritionist, so if you want to do low-carb to lose some weight, give it a try, but YMMV. And if you’re addicted to sugar/starches like I was, it will be very tough in the beginning, but worth it in the end!)